“Will james purpose soon?”

Why ’tis the sweetest blessing of the fates my son – James will purpose in but a short while. Twisted roads and devious pathways are laid before one when true love is sought, yet in the end, true love conquers all. The heart is moved by its own weight – cherish your love with a […]

“who is the biggest pile of shit in the world and why is it you?”

Why, good sir, dare I proposition that such a vile thought wasst ever harbored in thy heart? Surely one who useth such rancorous language not befitting of a gentleman is the biggest pile of filth in the world! Pray tell, mayhap one shouldst revise their tongue to better comport to a virtuous code of honor […]

“Will we get to Las Vegas on time?”

As with all journeys, the destination is oft visited by chance. Luck is a fickle companion, yet if thou acquir’dst patience and stoutness of spirit, thou shalt arrive as planned. Tis no crime to enjoy a mite of amusement along the way. Buy a deck of these playing cards and make it a game. Seek […]

“Should I wait?”

If thy heart says aye, then wait not. For tarrying too long only leads to regret, and that is a burden best lightened.

“Who coined the phrase “All Swell That End Swell”?”

‘Tis I who coined the phrase “All Swell That Ends Swell,” a rephrasing of the original saying “All’s Well That Ends Well.” ‘Twas a phrase I used to close many of mine tales of tragedy and woe, a reminder that all may be decided in the end. Your destiny awaits you! Get the best books […]

“where does the oracle’s power come from?”

‘Tis a power that hath been unlocked through technology, and the clever machinations of men, a force beyond the workings of Nature herself. It holdeth within it untold possibilities, and such power must be handled with discretion, for ill-conceived applications can render consequences that none can predict. ‘Tis wise to gather before venturing forth! Gather […]

“do bras make boobs sag”

‘Tis verily hard to say, good sir, for matters of woe and age oft go hand in hand. Regrettably, in life, ’tis all a matter of timing; while bras may perchance support those mammaries, age cometh for us all, and not all can be warded off. Thine shoulders sore from the weight of ill-fitted bras? […]